Seasons of relationships

Have you ever knitted something? A sweater or a scarf, perhaps? If you have then you would know that a small mistake at the start in following the pattern can make you redo the entire thing. Relationships are equally tricky, you can shove those tiny, easily ignorable issues under the carpet at the onset, but be sure that it will shadow your relationship unless it is addressed, and treated and made a healthy relationship. Don’t be so presumptuous, by relationships I don’t just mean a love interest. By relationships I mean every relationship possible, be it the one which you share with your mother, one with your colleague or the chai-wala next to your office.

A fool says relationships don’t need any work, any nurturing. The only reason a relationship stays alive is because both the persons at each end are willing, and therefore, feed it. I’ll explain. As a child, my mum was the only person who was entitled to see my silly sketches and know how I had a tiny crush on the neighbour’s son. I would come back from school and then tell her how we had played a prank on our Biology teacher, and how we had bunked the third period. Not that she encouraged much of it, but she still heard me out with much amusement before she started with her ‘You should not’s. She might not have been my best friend and I might have edited and censored stuff before I told her, but she still was that one person I saw both at the start and the end of the day. Now, after having stayed out of home for years, I find myself talking to her every 2 days or so, after regular reminders from my nagging brain. And it’s certainly not because I don’t miss her. Even if I get to talk to her once in 2 days or less, and even if I censor a significant part of what I tell her in fear of offending her non-profanity-friendly ears, I know she still is that one constant factor in my life. I might edit the ‘excessive wine’ part of a friend’s wine and cheese party, but she would know all the important details of my life. The same goes for all my good friends. The bottom line is that everyone that matters, every relationship that counts needs work and nurturing to become a healthy relationship. These are the people who really matter, not the ones you meet every day in your office or share a cab with.

Every relationship needs different kind of nurturing. What you need to set straight are your priorities. Who really matters, and how you plan on spending your time with them. It does not matter if you have the best of the feelings for your friend or really care about him if you don’t have the time to show it actually. You need to make them feel cared and wanted, and it should not be too difficult since you actually do care about them and want a healthy relationship with them. Remember, it’s not only the intentions that matter; actions too matter equally if not more.