Seasons of relationships

Have you ever knitted something? A sweater or a scarf, perhaps? If you have then you would know that a small mistake at the start in following the pattern can make you redo the entire thing. Relationships are equally tricky, you can shove those tiny, easily ignorable issues under the carpet at the onset, but be sure that it will shadow your relationship unless it is addressed, and treated and made a healthy relationship. Don’t be so presumptuous, by relationships I don’t just mean a love interest. By relationships I mean every relationship possible, be it the one which you share with your mother, one with your colleague or the chai-wala next to your office.

A fool says relationships don’t need any work, any nurturing. The only reason a relationship stays alive is because both the persons at each end are willing, and therefore, feed it. I’ll explain. As a child, my mum was the only person who was entitled to see my silly sketches and know how I had a tiny crush on the neighbour’s son. I would come back from school and then tell her how we had played a prank on our Biology teacher, and how we had bunked the third period. Not that she encouraged much of it, but she still heard me out with much amusement before she started with her ‘You should not’s. She might not have been my best friend and I might have edited and censored stuff before I told her, but she still was that one person I saw both at the start and the end of the day. Now, after having stayed out of home for years, I find myself talking to her every 2 days or so, after regular reminders from my nagging brain. And it’s certainly not because I don’t miss her. Even if I get to talk to her once in 2 days or less, and even if I censor a significant part of what I tell her in fear of offending her non-profanity-friendly ears, I know she still is that one constant factor in my life. I might edit the ‘excessive wine’ part of a friend’s wine and cheese party, but she would know all the important details of my life. The same goes for all my good friends. The bottom line is that everyone that matters, every relationship that counts needs work and nurturing to become a healthy relationship. These are the people who really matter, not the ones you meet every day in your office or share a cab with.

Every relationship needs different kind of nurturing. What you need to set straight are your priorities. Who really matters, and how you plan on spending your time with them. It does not matter if you have the best of the feelings for your friend or really care about him if you don’t have the time to show it actually. You need to make them feel cared and wanted, and it should not be too difficult since you actually do care about them and want a healthy relationship with them. Remember, it’s not only the intentions that matter; actions too matter equally if not more.

Tanya Virmani is a Luxury Fashion & Travel Blogger from Delhi. Her blog, Let’s Expresso is one of the top Fashion Blogs of India. She is working with leading brands and writes on latest launches, events and trends.
Tanya is an English Hons from Delhi University and an alumni of NIFT, Delhi.
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11 Comments
  1. Beautiful post.. I remember a friend once telling me…”Any two people can get along well, provided they don’t try to change the other”. Your post is thought provoking.

    Glad to have found you at Indiblogger. Looking forward to more reads from you
    cheers.

    1. Thanks Kajal…very true,relationships are based on full acceptance of each other AND without intentions of changing the other person.But in real life, we dont follow it and strain the beautiful relationships around us.Hopefully, my article can help people revive and realise true relationships.
      Glad to meet your here !

  2. Interesting post. You talk about a ‘healthy relationship’ in great lengths. And also about ‘willingness’ and ‘actions’. Could you please tell me more about them? Like, what is your exact idea of a healthy relationship. How to ‘feed’ a relationship but not to the point of smothering it?
    And seems like you have been staying out of your home for years now? 🙂

    1. Healthy relationship is about understanding the other person and giving adeqaute support and strength and confidence.The best way is to put yourself in the other person’s shoes and then think what they wud expect from u .This gives an insight into their way of life and thinking and will help you to build a better relationship with that person.Bottom line :Do what u wud like others to do with you and DONT DO what you would not like others to do with you.And yes, give ample space so that you feed the relationship and not go to the point of smothering it.Hope this clarifies !

    1. Hey Manreet, thanks for the link…and truely said..well woven relationships do not reveal their knots since they r weaved so closely 🙂

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